Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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