Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
