never play flip cup with pint glasses
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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