Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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