I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
