i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
