I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize