Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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