Whod you bang
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
