i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
