You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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