so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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