Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
