tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I think I won the penis lottery.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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