pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
