my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
