hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
