Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
