Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
