im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
