there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
