Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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