Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
