Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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