I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
