2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
