He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
