yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize