Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
one might say we're banned from that church
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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