if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
