So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
It's just like the Real World with babies
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Randomize