so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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