Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
