The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
