Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize