I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Gay?
German.
Pity.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
