go do what you do best...puke behind churches
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
