very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Randomize
