At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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