The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Dignity is for republicans.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
