YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
