GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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