the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize