what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
