plz talk dirty to me
My hand turned me down
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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