i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Randomize
