He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
