I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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