OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
ugly people sure do ruin things
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
