So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
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I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You ruined the universe
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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