Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
