i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize