you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
