Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
