Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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