Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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