Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
