Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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